Celebrity Teen Idols

Four girls moved to LA ... We watched them grow ... We watched them live and love ... Nothing stays the same forever ... But no one saw THIS coming!

The last season of The Hills, which begins later this month, is being hyped by the MTV tagline above. The journey is coming to an end ... but it's not over until its over.

So we're told. A three-minute trailer has been released, taking us through what we've seen in five seasons to date and previewing the beginning of the end (April 27).

First, there's a mini-retrospective on the show, which images of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag. Aww. They were so cute. One of them still is, and is recognizable!

Lauren and Heidi in a bygone, plastic surgery-free era.

The Hills used to be a fun guilty pleasure, but after LC rode off into the sunset prior to last season, the entire dynamic changed, with Kristin Cavallari in the mix.

This coming season, the show's last, promises even more contrived nonsense than before. Just a few of the story lines (sorry, real life events) teased in the trailer:

• Mom Darlene staring in disbelief at Heidi Montag's plastic surgery
• Spencer Pratt losing his $h!t at his sister ... and at Heidi's sister
• Kristin being confronted about her alleged drug use/partying
• Audrina Patridge dating Ryan Cabrera
• Brody Jenner dating ... everyone

Follow the jump to see The Hills' final season trailer in all its glory ...

Never one to miss a party, Holly Montag was spotted at The Tropicana Casino and Resort in Atlantic City on Friday (March 5).

The reality TV show star looked cute in a multi-colored outfit with black high boots and bright pink lipstick, and looked to be having the time of her life.

This week on The Hills, Justin-Bobby continued to play mind games with Kristin, Holly got plastered again and Jayde Nicole went absolutely insane on Brody.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editorial board looks back at back the previous night's The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and taking away points  ...

This week's episode title comes from a text Justin sent Kristin after ditching her beach party, referring to her three strike rule. Yes, he wrote that. Minus 7.

Later, he surprises "boo" by showing up anyway. Plus 6, because like the naked guy on How I Met Your Mother, J-B's unpredictability totally works on girls.

Kristin Cavallari sure overdoes the fake Valley Girl accent, over-pronouncing each syllable trying to sound ditzy. Liiiiiike, yaaaaaa, Bro-dayyyyyy. Minus 5.

HOT preview for New Moon during commercials! Plus 3.

Holly Montag says her true love is Jack. As in Daniel. Minus 4 for this dreadful cliche and being one of the sloppier drunks out there. We hope she's acting.

Despite being wrapped around Justin's finger, Kristin admits she has feelings for Bro-dayyyyyy. Ahh, there's nothing like a freshly contrived love triangle. Plus 2.

Speaking of Brody's love life, either MTV's editors want to sabotage Jayde Nicole, or she is rapidly becoming mentally unbalanced. Jealous much. Jayde? Minus 6.

Random dude off-camera: "What is up with Holly?" Great question. Plus 9.

Team Enzo! Plus 7, because even Spencer Pratt is warming to his adorable little neighbor. He tries, but can't even pretend to hate him anymore. It's kind of cute.

For the love of G*d, what the hell is Holly wearing at Speidi's!? Minus 4. Is The Hills secretly a cult where you have to drop 25 pounds and get plastic surgery?

Concerned Heidi Montag tells her troubled, drunk sis that she would, like, do anything for her (going to her b-party without a fee notwithstanding). Plus 6. B!tch.

Obligatory Minus 5 for Kristin not being Lauren Conrad. Are we really supposed to care about this girl and become invested in all her personal drama? Fail.

For the Love of Ray J preview during commercials! Plus 3.

TOTAL: +5! SEASON TOTAL: +43! We're still having a hard time caring about Kristin in any way, but at least Holly, Jayde and Justin are total loose cannons.

Holly Montag celebrated her 26th Birthday party at Empire Hollywood in L.A. Saturday, a get-together that ended with Stephanie Pratt arrested for DUI.

An interesting subplot? The absence of Speidi, a.k.a. Heidi Montag (Holly's younger sister) and her husband, loathesome PR mastermind Spencer Pratt.

It made little sense that the gruesome twosome wouldn't be on hand (and makes even less that they have not commented on Stephanie's arrest since).

Well, according to reports, Heidi Montag was invited, but was a no-show. The reason? No one was willing to pony up cash for her to come. No freebies!

"Holly wished her sister could just be a sister and stop by her birthday party, but Heidi only goes places if she is getting paid," an insider said. "I mean, this is her sister and she wouldn’t even show up without a fee. That’s disgusting."

Would it surprise you if Heidi wanted to be paid to associate with Holly?

The evening did get some publicity, however, as the b-day girl’s BFF and The Hills star Stephanie Pratt was arrested on suspicion of a DUI after leaving.

The 23-year-old She-Pratt has a prior criminal record, having been arrested in Hawaii on both second-degree theft and drug violations back in 2006.

"She usually doesn’t drive to parties and is always really careful," an insider said. "Her mother is devastated, she is with her at home trying to lay low."

Ironically, Holly's drinking problem was the focal point of Tuesday's The Hills.

Neither Spencer or Heidi has commented on Stephanie's incident. Moreover, Speidi issued a denial of the above story, but only through their rep.

The rep said Heidi wanting to get paid to come is "absolutely not true." That's it. No hilarious statement from Spencer himself. Something is amiss.

Last night on The Hills, Justin-Bobby cast his familiar spell over both Kristin and Audrina, while Holly Montag was enraptured by something else toxic: Alcohol.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip looks back the previous night's episode of The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and taking away points as we see fit ...

Kristin Cavallari's dad on Brody Jenner: "Is he still in love with himself?" Plus 4.

Kristin on Brody and Jayde Nicole: "They're one of those couples that's either all over each other in public or screaming and breaking up." So true! Plus 3.

Audrina Patridge hangs out with Justin's buddy Derek, who notes that Audrina and Justin were off-and-on for four years. Four years! Belated Minus 7.

Reflecting on Justin ditching her at Brody's, Kristin insists she's gonna make him work for it. Her annoying hair flipping tells us this is untrue. Minus 5.

Holly Montag gets plastered at Brent Bolthouse's Photo Exhibit. Plus 11 for leaving even Spencer speechless, and Plus 2 more for Holly's classic drunk-girl line: "Like, I feel like every second of my life is the greatest second of my life!"

Obligatory Minus 2 for Stephanie Pratt's awful plastic surgery, but Plus 9 for the irony of her commenting on Holly's drinking problem when just last Sunday, Stephanie got arrested for DUI ... after Holly's wild birthday party!

Spencer calls Holly the "girl version of Spencer Pratt" in referencing her drinking too much. Still, you can tell he kind of means it as a compliment. Plus 3.

Holly Montag arrives at Speidi's intervension and orders a margarita in the first five seconds. Perhaps a Mexican restaurant wasn't the best venue. Plus 5.

Justin-Bobby cooks Kristin dinner and half-heartedly apologizes for flaking on Brody's party. Naturally, Kristin's defenses (and pants) drop. He disposes of his shirt, they meander into the bedroom and bone. Absolutely pathetic. Minus 5.

For whatever reason, Audrina meets Justin-Bobby for drinks. He says nothing compares to her and that he and Kristin aren't together. He says she should hang out with Derek again. She agrees. Absolutely beyond pathetic. Minus 10.

TOTAL: +8! SEASON TOTAL: +38! The Hills thrives on such things, but a Justin-Bobby love triangle is hard to be enthralled by. We can't believe we're saying this, but more Speidi! Hopefully Stephanie's DUI was caught on tape.

Stepping out following her birthday weekend, Holly Montag attended the ESPN Magazine ‘The Body’ issue event in West Hollywood on Monday night (October 19).

The MTV vixen hit up the arrivals area at The London Hotel, posing for pictures alongside gal pal Stacey Hall before getting her party on.

Sunday morning's Stephanie Pratt DUI arrest took place following a wild and crazy night out at Empire to celebrate the birthday of Holly Montag, sister of Heidi.

Speidi was not on hand, although Stacie the bartender from The Hills apparently was. This was a Z-list party if ever there were one. Here's the three of them:

The Hills extras enjoy a night of fun. A little too much fun.

Click to enlarge more pictures of the drunken revelry below. These were taken earlier in the night, before Stephanie stumbled out of the club and attempted to drive.

Still no mug shot yet. Give it time.

Treating herself to a personal pampering session, Holly Montag was spotted getting her hair done for her birthday yesterday afternoon (October 15).

Joined by BFF Staci Hall, the “Hills” babe looked pleased with the outcome of her new coif while chilling out at a hair salon in Los Angeles.

She’s no stranger to a swanky evening out, and Saturday night (October 10) Holly Montag celebrated her birthday Sin City style.

The “Hills” babe was joined by her bff Stacie Hall as she descended on The Bank Nightclub, located at the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

Teaming up for an evening out on the town, Stephanie Pratt and Holly Montag were side-by-side in New York City on Saturday night (September 12).

The “Hills” co-star cuties kicked the festivities off by first making their way to the star-studded Alice + Olivia show as part of New York Fashion Week.

Continuing on filming the new season, the cast of “The Hills” was spotted living it up on the beach in Malibu, California yesterday afternoon (September 3).

Showing some serious skin, Stephanie Pratt and Holly Montag looked sporty as they prepared to take a canoe out on the water.

Looking for a way to cool down from the scorching hot SoCal sun, Holly Montag and Stephanie Pratt were spotted grabbing a frozen treat yesterday afternoon (July 30).

The “Hills” hotties looked delighted as they made their way inside Yogen Fruz in Beverly Hills for a dish of frozen yogurt.

Some more details have been revealed regarding the highly-anticipated and heavily airbrushed Heidi Montag nude photo spread in the September issue of Playboy:

She's not actually nude. How do we know?

"She's not nude," her sister Holly Montag told Us Weekly. "Her Maxim cover was so gorgeous and tasteful, and I know Playboy is going to be the same."

Yes. We would definitely call those Maxim pics gorgeous and tasteful.

Despite the lack of Heidi Montag nude, Holly says "It's really cool that she can be part of the Playboy family. I love it. I go there all the time and play poker."

"I love the girls there. It's very cool to be a part of that legacy."

Holly Montag has a way with words. Much like "Maxim" and "tasteful," you don't often hear"Playboy" and "legacy" intertwined in the same thought. [Photos: Fame]

Holly Montag is equally psyched for her newly-married, horse-faced sister to make ears bleed at the 2009 Miss Universe Pageant telecast on August 23.

"She will kill half the audience with it," Holly said of Heidi. "I know she will give the best performance ever. She's a phenomenal performer and dancer."

"That's what she's born to do. I think when she's stepping into her own in singing and concerts, people will see that that's where she really shines."

As for things with her new brother-in-law Spencer Pratt?

"We're actually getting along really well right now," Holly said. "I don't want to jinx it, but he's been awesome as a brother and better than ever."

The hottest reality TV non-star couple that wasn't is officially not. If that makes any sense. In other words, Holly Montag and Sanjaya Malakar are just friends.

Despite becoming close on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Holly Montag insists there is no jungle fever with American Idol punch line Sanjaya Malakar.

"We are not dating but just very close," the sister of Heidi Montag said at the Sports Dream Celebrity Poker pool party in Beverly Hills over the weekend.

Although they aren't a couple, a source told Us Weekly the two had plans to go to Hawaii together and drove from L.A. to Seattle to meet his parents.

What does the 25-year-old Montag make of the romance rumors?

"It was funny," Holly said. "I was shocked because we were such close friends, and I had no idea that anyone else thought there was anything romantic going on. People in camp joked about it, but we knew it was a joke so it was funny to us."

No matter what, Heidi Montag doesn't let all the celebrity gossip and rumors stop her from being best friends with the great Sanjaya Malakar. [Photos: Fame Pictures]

"We will continue our friendship forever," she says.

If they do decide to take their relationship to the next level, however, they can rest assured that Spencer Pratt will give them his blessing.

I will very happily hand the famed cup of superstar couple on planet Earth to Sanjaya and Holly in a second," he said recently. "Go for it!"

This story seems far-fetched, but we must remember, Sanjaya Malakar is a sexy beast. The man exudes hotness. He is the personification of raw lust.

How could Holly Montag possibly resist?

Holly, who starred on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here after her sister Heidi Montag and her husband Spencer Pratt infamously bailed, reportedly began a romance with fellow contestant Sanjaya Malakar during her stint in Costa Rica.

What's more, The Hills "star" and the former American Idol "star" are keeping the romance alive after leaving the show! They're going on a vacation!

"Holly and Sanjaya are headed to [the Hawaiian island of] Kauai tomorrow morning so she can meet his parents," an insider tells Life & Style Weekly.

"It's getting serious!"

We can only hope this lasts, if only so Speidi can try to make Holly and Sanjaya's wedding all about them. And so Sanjaya can sing at the reception.

After the tumultuous last week that saw her sister quit, return, be locked in the "lost chamber," hospitalized and quit again, Holly Montag made her debut on NBC's I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here on Wednesday night.

"I'm Holly Montag, you might know me from a little show called The Hills," Heidi's sister said upon arriving last night and leaving the cast wanting answers.

The group froze and was instantly suspicious, but seemed to come around as they saw Holly for what she is - a far less interesting version of Heidi Montag.

Heck, Celebrity is pushing it harder regarding Holly than it is with the Baldwin brothers. Although Janice Dickinson quickly took Holly under her ancient wing.

Speidi has departed Costa Rica for good, leaving Holly Montag to take over for the gruesome twosome. No offense, Holly, but please, do something for once.

Holly did make an impression early in her tenure on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here, however, helping the women's team win a crucial food challenge.

Stephen Baldwin referred to Holly as "the sister-in-law of the thing that was," which is one of the better ways we've heard someone describe Spencer Pratt.

"Holly appears to be less high maintenance then Heidi," brother Daniel said. "Thank Jesus Christ almighty she hasn't pulled out a spray bottle of shampoo!"

Check out a video of Holly's moments in the jungle below ...

Holly Montag on 'I'm a Celebrity'

It's official. Heidi and Spencer Pratt have left the island. And unlike the Oceanic Six (Lost spoiler alert!), in the case of Speidi it looks like it's for good.

After multiple attempts to quit, allegations of torture by NBC and a trip to the hospital, the gruesome twosome finally bailed on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here - even though they were welcomed back into the competition Monday night.

The Hills stars were pretty much unanimously allowed back into the fold on the program after emerging from a night in the "Lost Chamber."

"No surrender, no retreat," Spencer Pratt could be heard screaming. "The only way we got through was praying, and Jesus delivered us."

But Speidi's alleged resurrection didn't win over everybody.

"I don't believe them for a second," newcomer Daniel Baldwin opined on Spencer and Heidi. "This is the wolf in sheep's clothing."

Even Daniel's brother Stephen Baldwin, a born-again Christian himself, thought Spencer was exhibiting a "spiritual hemorrhoid" in his zeal.

Heidi was hospitalized Saturday after a night in the shack, setting off a war of words between Spencer (who may sue), NBC (which will sue back), Stephanie Pratt (who says Heidi was tortured) and Speidi's publicist (who says no torture occurred).

From what we've gathered, it turns out Heidi came down with intense stomach pain and started vomiting, she hadn't eaten since the night before and, according to her fellow contestants, she wasn't drinking enough water, either.

"I threw up at least 10, 15 times last night," said the ailing Heidi Montag, who was hospitalized in Costa Rica and treated before being released.

Spencer added: "If Heidi is sick, then I'm sick because we are of one flesh."

Later in the episode, camp leader Lou Diamond Phillips informed his fellow celebrities (term used loosely) that Speidi would not be returning.

"They are no longer a part of this competition," he said. "They are gone."

Calling it the "best decision of their lives," Spencer Pratt confirmed they are leaving for good, and that it was the "best decision" of their lives.

"We gave it our all in the competition," he said.

"Now, it's about our health. At the end of the day, we went back in and proved it wasn't about us. This was a life-changing experience."

But not to fear, Speidi followers. NBC - surprise - had anticipated such an event. Heidi's sister, Holly Montag, is now coming aboard this week!

The hour-long finale of The Hills began with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth packing up their house. Guess now that Lauren is retiring from The Hills, she has to move out of the $2.2 million house MTV was paying for. Just kidding. Maybe.

The roommates decide to throw a final party for their closest friends.

What a perfect opportunity to stage awkward conversations about Spencer and Heidi's wedding and tie up plot points bring the whole gang together for a fun time.

Encouraged by Frankie Delgado to attend the upcoming Speidi wedding, LC responded with, "I'll be at the next one." Ohhhhh, snap, Spencer. No way she's going now, right? Well, don't be so sure. Because we already know she is.

After all, Spencer Pratt is a changed man if you haven't noticed. He even convinced Heidi Montag's mom, Darlene, to give him her blessing. Impressive.

Brody Jenner, however, was not buying Spencer's "nice guy" persona.

"You have lost your mind," Brody laughed during a guys' lunch with his childhood BFF, who admitted going to marriage counseling. "I have a beautiful relationship with a beautiful girl. We have a great time - we don't need to go to therapy!"

Notwithstanding cheating on Jayde Nicole with Audrina Patridge, sparking Audzo's feud with Jayde that has dominated much of this spring, of course.

Meanwhile, Heidi was in full wedding-planning mode. Too bad her maid of honor was the most inept, unstable and worthless maid of honor in history.

Amazingly, we are not talking about Stephanie Pratt!

Heidi's big sister Holly Montag had the big title and managed to mess it up at every turn. She didn't write down the gifts Heidi got at her shower, gave a comically bad speech at the rehearsal dinner, and had an epic, drunken meltdown later.

Absolutely amazing showing, Holly.

Once the big day arrived, all anyone could talk about was whether LC would show up. And she did. A little awkwardly. Their exchange went as follows:

Lauren Conrad:  "You're getting married!"
Heidi Montag: "It's crazy! And you're here!"
Lauren Conrad: "I'm supposed to be."

Read: Because the producers made her. Knowing she's not returning to The Hills after this particular event, she can't even hide her disdain and fake it.

The guests at the wedding included Justin-Bobby, who clearly did not bother to shower, along with Perez Hilton, Spencer's Nana and Heidi's dad, Bill.

Oh, and lightning rod Kristin Cavallari, who shockingly returned to the MTV payroll witness the nuptials of the couple she helped set up many years ago.

As Lauren Conrad realized that she had been replaced, by Kristin Cavallari, on her own show, and reacted with what appeared to be legitimate disgust, her former rival successfully recaptured the spotlight in a matter of minutes.

She flirted with Justin-Bobby for reasons unknown, rubbed in Audrina's face that she flirted with him for obvious reasons (no wonder Audrina hates her already), flashed do-me eyes at Brody, glared at LC and caught Heidi's bouquet.

Oh, and Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag officially tied the knot. Hooray, we guess.

Excuse Lauren Conrad if she can't stand up straight these days. The newly retired reality star is still pulling that knife out of her back.

In an interview with E! News, Holly Montag showed serious love for new co-star Kristin Cavallari.

"I think Kristin's openness is going to be far more entertaining than anything Lauren had to offer," Holly said. "Lauren's always been very conservative, which is good for her values, but Kristin just wants to put everything on the line because she thinks reality is real. Kristin doesn't hide anything. She's seriously the most real girl you'll meet in reality television."

Isn't that like being the tallest person at a midget convention?

Holly Montag admires Kristin Cavallari for being "real." We admire Montag if she was able to keep a straight face while making that statement.

Despite implying that LC is fake, Holly wishes nothing but the best for her pal:

"I'm happy she's done with this. Now, that she's out if it, I have no doubt she'll be a successful designer. She's so talented and driven."

Meanwhile, Stacie Hall - the bartender that's dating Frankie Delgado - has already partied with Kristin.

"Kristin's a really fun, outgoing person, and I think we're going to have a great time continuing to film," Stacie said. "Lauren is a good, good girl, but Kristin is more outgoing and crazy."

Making for quite the star-studded affair, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s weekend wedding drew out quite the guest list on Saturday afternoon (April 25).

Although she said that she wouldn’t be attending, Lauren Conrad was on-hand to congratulate the couple, as well as her “Hills” co-star Audrina Patridge.

The Hills' Holly Montag, the less-plastic sibling of Heidi Montag, wants to set the record straight about the big ring she's been wearing on her finger.

"It's not true, and I am not engaged," she says. Phew.

Star Magazine reports that Holly Montag recently received a "gold promise ring" from her club promoter boyfriend, Ben Henry.

In reference to the paid, a source told the celeb gossip magazine that "they aren't engaged yet, but it's as good as done."

Holly Montag has been seen with the ring, but it's not from Ben Henry, she says.

"It's my grandfather's wedding ring," she says. I wear it all the time on that finger."

Well, there you have that.

Speaking of non-engagements, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt "eloped" in November.

It was quite the swanky affair at Tavern on the Green in New York City’s Central Park last night, as the stars of “The Hills” gathered for a Season 4 Finale viewing party.

Lauren Conrad (sporting a new hairdo), Whitney Port, and Audrina Patridge all got cozy in front of the camera, posing for the paparazzi and showing off their own unique styles.

Lauren Conrad leaves with a friend - who we believe is Holly Montag - after attending the Southern Hospitality Restaurant Holiday Party at hot Club Butter.

Also in attendance were Wilmer Valderrama, Trace Ayala and Brody Jenner's one true love, Frankie Delgado. Here's LC and her pal making their getaway ...

Even when dressed for cooler climates, Lauren Conrad is stylish as ever.

Click to enlarge three more shots of the star of The Hills (which wraps its fourth season tonight) doing the things she does best - looking cute and clubbing!

[Photo Credits: Splash News Online]

After The Hills' Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt eloped in Mexico without friends or family present, Heidi's mom Darlene was, well, far from thrilled.

She called Pratt out for being the conniving weasel he is, and even went so far as to suggest Spencer drugged Heidi, which is absurd even for him.

Heidi's sister Holly defends her mother's reaction, however.

"She had a lot of raw feelings and she just kind of let loose about them," Holly Montag told Hollyscoop. "I think she's kind of remorseful about what she said in retrospect. We all understand and everybody understands."

So what does Holly herself think about missing Spencer and Heidi's wedding ceremony, which MTV filmed for an upcoming episode of The Hills?

A little hurt herself, Holly Montag is defending "her mom's fury."

"I was initially a little hurt not being able to be a part of it. But it's her choice and it's a special thing between those two," she said. "I support anything Heidi wants to do. I just want her to be happy and she seems sublimely happy."

Could the rising tension between Spencer and Darlene have played a role in prompting the elopement? According to Holly Montag, it's certainly a possibility.

"I think the wedding was a spur of the moment thing and wasn’t premeditated so that could have something to do with it, not wanting the drama," she said.

Since the Speidi wedding, however romantic, wasn't legal, Holly hopes she'll be invited to the official ceremony... if Spencer and Heidi have one, of course.

When news of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s secret wedding began to make its way around the gossip circles, we were all taken by surprise.  And Heidi’s sister Holly was no exception.

Holly told press that she had “no idea” that her sister had eloped with Pratt, and that she was hurt to have to find out from anyone other than Heidi.

Best. Episode. Ever. The Hills was in rare form last night, and our recap, as always, will consist of our staff awarding and deducting points as it sees fit.

Holly Montag is still, like, totally sad about the way things went down with Heidi. Spencer is still a jerk. Meanwhile, Audrina thinks Lauren hooked up with Justin-Bobby - and both J-Bobby and LC are far from pleased about her accusations.

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

Audrina tells Chiara that Dino (Dina?) told her about the Lauren-Justin hookup. Minus 2 because Audzo has no friends with normal names, and Minus 3 more for the "detail" of the hookup she refers to not being explained. Peeps wanna know!

Would anyone be surprised if Lo Bosworth started the rumor? That would be classic, diabolical Lo. But she sort of said nothing throughout. Minus 1.

Spencer Pratt calls Holly Montag "Little Miss Traitor." Plus 4, because he probably could think up a much better nickname/insult, but we all know he's lazy.

Heidi has been relegated to a cubicle at work, rather than the posh office she used to have. After her fake firing, of course. Plus 7 for the general ridiculousness of this, and Plus 2 more for Spencer smirking about it when she complains.

We rant about the lag between real time events and The Hills so much it's passe, but this episode aired a few hours after we learned about Heidi and Spencer eloping. They're married! It's hard to take minor fight #378 as seriously now. Minus 2.

It's hard to tell what bugs Lauren Conrad more - being the subject of a false rumor, or that said rumor involved her and a revolting human being. As IF! Plus 4.

Audrina Patridge leaves a rambling, pathetic, borderline-stalker voicemail for Justin. Minus 4 for her being such a loser. Somehow, Justin-Bobby was the more collected, mature individual at the bar later. Didn't see that coming. Plus 7.

Anybody else missing Brody Jenner? Just asking. Minus 2.

The editing of the Audrina-Lauren drama was a bit off. LC is never shown denying the hookup, yet we learn later that both she and J-Bobby did so initially. It's like we're being manipuated and this "reality" show isn't 100 percent real. Minus 3.

Minus 3 for the staged Stephanie Pratt scene in which she's clearly being fed lines. But Plus 6 for the similar Casey Patridge scene, because she tells it like it is.

Finally, it comes out: Lauren Conrad said she'd "rather die" than hook up with Justin-Bobby, who's "disgusting." She said this to Audrina's face. Wow. Plus 14 for the utter harshness, honestly, buildup and inevitability of that statement. And Plus 3 more for "You're way worse than Heidi." Talk about adding insult to injury!

TOTAL: +27. Vintage Hills. Bravo, all. Leave a comment with your own scores!